Talking About Senior Care Options With Resistant Loved Ones

Change is often difficult, especially when considering senior care options. But on the other side of feeling uncomfortable and uncertain can be a feeling that your senior loved one is living in a safe, supportive environment.

Worrying about the safety of your senior loved one living alone can weigh heavy on your mind and heart, keeping you up at night.  If you’ve noticed that mom is having difficulties bringing the laundry downstairs or you are concerned that dad is forgetting to take his medication on time, you may have started thinking about senior care solutions.  But how can you start a conversation with them, especially when you know that they may not be open to leaving their home?  There are ways to have a productive and thoughtful discussion, even if a parent might be resistant to this change.

Keep things casual –  The initial discussion should be one that is a give and take of ideas. The tone should be open and honest, not tense.  Pushing against resistance can have negative  and unintended consequences.

Be prepared –  Speak to a local CarePatrol senior care advisor to understand the basics of senior care options to be able to answer any questions your parents may have such as location and affordability.  Our senior care advisors can help give you the tools when having these initial discussions.

Have realistic expectations –  Know that this is the beginning of an ongoing conversation over time.  There won’t be any major decisions made today but the door is now open for discussion.

Ask questions about how they see the future –  What are their fears, hopes and dreams for the next adventure?  Talk about the things that would make them excited about senior care solutions, including not having to do maintenance to their home, not needing to cook daily or having more options for socializing and activities.

Actively listen –  Use their answers as a starting point to delve deeper into what type of community would work best for their vision of the future.  A good rule of thumb is that we have two ears and one mouth so listen more than you talk!

Talk about medical concerns –  Include their needs in the conversation.  Your parents may have worries about their challenges and the right senior care solution can help alleviate these feelings and ground the conversation.  If taking medications has become a challenge, this can be an important discussion point.

Have empathy –  Try to put yourself in the shoes of your elder parents. Think of how they must feel at the concept of leaving their family home that they may have lived in for decades.  By trying to understand their feelings, you’ll be able to help provide support at this time of transition.

Respect their feelings – Be open and treat their feelings with respect to keep the dialogue flowing. They may not look at things exactly as you do but by honoring their feelings, you’ll both feel heard and acknowledged.

Stay calm –  This is an emotional discussion that usually involves a series of discussions over time so remain calm, stay focused and be present.

Working with a local CarePatrol senior care advisor here in Vermont can help make this challenging situation less stressful for your parents and your family.  By using our three step discovery process, we are able to give families the tools they need to make an informed decision.  CarePatrol will match your loved one with the right best senior care solution and give you options along the way.  You’re never alone as we will make appointments to see the communities and accompany you on tours, to ensure that all of your questions are answered.  You’re never alone with CarePatrol on your care team and our service is no cost to the family!